


Mourning Dawn

by Gabriels_Mourning



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon - TV, Comfort Scene, Expands and fills in some gaps for Mergana purposes, Freya (mentioned), Mergana beginnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 10:00:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5623291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriels_Mourning/pseuds/Gabriels_Mourning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Freya's death and burial, Arthur tries and fails horribly to comfort Merlin, but the next episode he's fine.  <br/>I think this scene was just missing, so I added it in, just to make it a little bit better. <br/>I would consider this canon because it doesn't REALLY alter anything, just fills in some details.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mourning Dawn

** Mourning Dawn **

The disconsolate figure sat on the floor of Arthur’s room, staring vacantly at the boots he was polishing.  Merlin, usually so full of life and energy, was nothing more than an animated corpse, blindly going about his tasks.  Arthur closed his eyes and shook his head as he steadied himself.  He put on a face of bored distraction and looked behind him at Gwen and Morgana.  The beautiful maid looked at her pensive friend and shooed Arthur into the door wordlessly.  Morgana stared past him at Merlin, feeling his sadness crushing her. 

“Ah, Merlin.  I’s looking for you.”  Barely batting and eye, Merlin nodded listlessly.  Morgana bit her bottom lip in worry and watched.  He looked so unbelievably sad.  She shared a glance with Gwen, who reached up and held her hand supportively.  Morgana gave her a gentle smile in thanks, knowing that Gwen would be as worried about her as she was about her friend.  For her part, Morgana couldn’t stop thinking about all the times that Merlin had been there for her.  She fought the urge to storm in and kick Arthur aside.

“Yeah, right, erm, you’re gonna ask me to polish your armour and to er, wash your clothes and clean your room.”  Arthur took note of the tone of voice and sat down next to his servant on the floor. 

“Something’s been upsetting you, hasn’t it?” he asked shrewdly.  Merlin didn’t bother to deny it, but instead confirmed it as though his answer meant nothing anyway.  His shoulders lifted in a shrug that told Arthur Merlin didn’t believe he’d care for a second. 

“Maybe.”  _Tell me about the girl, mate,_ he urged silently.  He let the silence stretch out for a moment.  He didn’t know what to say, but he wondered if getting Merlin angry with his obtuseness would make the young man surly enough to spark up. 

“Was it when I threw water over you?”  Arthur didn’t quite smile at the memory, but he certainly never bothered to hide his amusement.  Merlin scoffed quietly. 

“It wasn’t very nice.”  He didn’t confirm it.  Instead, he let Arthur believe that that was the issue.  He wasn’t going to open up.  Arthur racked his brain for a moment, trying to keep the conversation going. 

“It was a bit unfair,” he allowed, before turning to him, amusement in the prince’s eyes.  “Like when you called me fat.”  Merlin’s face didn’t change, but his expression did as he realised Arthur wasn’t going to let it go. 

“Why was that unfair?”  There was something of the old Merlin in his flippancy, but Arthur knew it was just a cover, despite the feeling of familiarity.  He wanted to hug his friend and tell him everything would be alright.  He hated that Gwen had gone to Morgana over this.  Merlin was HIS friend, and he could help him.  Would do anything to help him. 

“Because I’m not f…” he asserted before catching Merlin’s weak grin.  Arthur scoffed, grabbing Merlin in a headlock that almost turned into a hug.  Arthur quickly scrubbed his knuckles across Merlin’s head boisterously.

“Ow!  Ahhh,” protested Merlin as Arthur continued to rough his skull up. 

“Still think I need to get into shape?”  he asked artlessly.

“No!  No!  No, no, no, no!”  Merlin scoffed again and waved his acquiescence awkwardly until Arthur let him go with a final scrub of his weapon-calloused hand over Merlin’s dark mop of hair.  He didn’t say anything else, but Merlin’s smile broke just a little through his sombre mood as they parted.  He didn’t understand for a moment, but the smile was there nonetheless.

“That’s better.”   Arthur wasn’t one for talking about feelings.  But in his own way, he’d obviously tried.  And for that, at least, Merlin was grateful. 

“Thanks.”  It hung between them until Arthur nodded emphatically and sighed with pointed melodrama. 

“You’re right though.  You need to polish my armour, wash my clothes, AND clean my room.”  The prince got up and smugly walked away, until he got to his door, and then flashed another glance back into the room, where Merlin had gone back to polishing the boots.  He eased out the door and shrugged to Morgana and Gwen. 

“Well?” He smiled at the two women, but Morgana scowled at him with a wickedness that Merlin’s soft face wouldn’t ever have. 

“You’re an idiot.  Beating him up is the way you’re supposed to make him feel better?!”  Arthur opened his mouth at her furious whisper, but Morgana threw her hands in the air and turned to walk away.  “I’ll talk to him.”  Gwen mumbled for a moment and then Morgana nodded.  “Later.  Tonight, when we can speak freely.”  With one more withering glance at Arthur, she left.  Gwen turned to him with a polite curtsey. 

“Do _you_ think I’m an idiot, Guinevere?”  Gwen pursed her lips and Arthur studiously kept his eyes away from staring for too long.  Mostly her breasts were incredible in her purple and white uniform, but when he stared at her lips and her eyes, his ears got very hot.  He focused on her forehead instead, and Gwen rewarded him with a disbelieving stare of her own until his ears got red anyway.  Then she smiled at him coyly. 

“I think you and the Lady Morgana have… different ideas about how to best help Merlin through this.”  Arthur scowled amusedly and offered her his arm.  Gwen bowed low and took it after a quick glance around them to make sure no one was looking.  The prince escorted her back down the corridor reluctantly, slowing to a walk. 

“You didn’t want to come directly to me about this?  Merlin’s… my servant, I mean.”  She smiled at his hesitation, knowing full well that the two men were friends despite their unconventional circumstances.  Arthur’s last several manservants had been indistinguishable.  Like beige people. 

“I know.  It’s just that I was so distracted as I was helping her unpack and she asked what had happened.  Merlin hasn’t even spoken to me about it really, he just mentioned that there was a girl and trailed off.  Merlin’s just been so upset, and I want to help him.  I didn’t want you to misunderstand.  I would have spoken to you about it; I just didn’t want to trouble you.” 

“Believe me, Guinevere, you always trouble me.  But it’s in really nice ways, and I never mind it when you come and see me.”  He flashed her his smile and Gwen blushed.  “What do you think Morgana will do?”  Gwen swirled her skirts about her ankles for a moment in indecision, and Arthur couldn’t help his smile.  She was enrapturing.

“Merlin values your opinion of him very highly.  He wouldn’t want to open himself up to you because he knows how dreadful you are at being compassionate.”  Arthur raised an eyebrow in shock before shrugging silently in acceptance.  “Morgana’s compassion… she’ll help him.  She trusts him, and they’re quite close, despite appearances.  Nothing improper,” she assured him as his cheeks coloured for a moment.  “but they’re close.  They have an understanding somehow.  I’m sure she’ll help him through this.” 

Arthur looked about regretfully, noticing how the corridors were ending as they led into the courtyard.  He held Gwen’s hand and bowed low over it, kissing the back of her palm softly.  Gwen’s heart fluttered and she breathed in deeply.

“Good evening, my lady.” 

“Sweetest dreams, my prince.”

* * *

 

∞₸∞

* * *

 

Merlin opened the door at the insistent knocking that had dragged him up out of his melancholy for a moment.  The night sky had darkened already and it was almost midnight but he couldn't sleep.  He could almost feel Freya back down in the caverns and hear her voice.  The memory of her kiss haunted him and Merlin struggled as he stared at the nonplussed guard impatiently.  The guard straightened and frowned.

"Physician Gaius, Merlin?"  The young warlock shook his head.

"Summoned to the lower town.  Captain White's sister is bleeding out trying to birth their firstborn."  The guard's face turned comically pale, and he nodded once. 

"Lady Morgana requests a tonic for her sleep.  Do you know it?"  Merlin turned back into the room and moved forwards toward the sleep inducing tonics, but Morgana's was bare. 

"I'll have to make it.  I'll take it to her if you like."  The guard nodded his thanks and made away, his face still wan and pale.  Merlin quickly brought the ingredients to the mixing station and flipped open Gaius's notebook.  Carefully measuring slightly less than what the physician had written down as a precaution against overdosing her somehow, he took no less than twenty minutes, as thankfully there were enough distillations on hand and he didn't have to substitute anything.  Throwing on his brown jacket, Merlin made his way up to the familiar steps of Morgana's chambers.  The same guard stood at her door and nodded to Merlin as he knocked on the door.  Morgana opened it and quickly ushered him in.  She shut the door with a nod to the guard and bolted it.  Merlin turned and held up the bottle but Morgana brushed it aside, pulling him into her arms and hushing him.  She held him tight as he stared at her in shock until she leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth tenderly. 

"Oh Merlin.  I'm so sorry."  He took a breath to lie and tell her he was fine, but he couldn't.  She stared up into his eyes with such overwhelming compassion that he couldn't bring himself to lie to her.  His mouth worked slowly in silence, but he still couldn't say anything.  Morgana nodded and let him go, but she trailed her hand down his arm and grabbed his hand, leading him to the small sitting area in front of the huge open windows.  She took the tonic from his numb fingers and set it aside as he focussed on her.  She was still wearing her hair loose, tumbling black locks that had always enchanted him.  Morgana didn't offer false sympathies or anything of the sort, but nor did she deny it like Arthur had.  She simply sat there, looking at him gently as she held his hand.

"Tell me about her.  Anything.  Or nothing.  But talk to me.  I can't stand seeing you like this.  Not when you have me to talk to about anything to.  I’m here for you like you’re always here for me."  Merlin dropped his eyes against her glorious, tender eyes and looked down at their clasped hands.  He made to pull away and she firmly sat them back in her lap, absently rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. 

He looked at her and opened his mouth again, but she was pouring two goblets of wine with her free hand, and handed him one.  Merlin closed his eyes. 

"Her name is... was Freya.  She had hair like yours.  Not quite, but close enough.  And she was someone that finally I could actually help, really make a difference for."

He continued, telling Morgana everything, pouring his heart about her, about how he'd wanted to help her, not condemn her, and how it was all his fault.  Morgana sat and held his hand and listened.  She didn't judge, she didn't say anything.  She was just there for him.  As the watch changed over several hours later and the sky began to lighten, she kissed him goodbye on the corner of his lips and he thanked her by the door.  She seemed reluctant to let him go, and he didn't want to leave. 

But he did, bowing his head low over her hand.

“My lady.”  His voice trembled, and Morgana lifted a hand to his cheek.

"Merlin..."  Blue eyes met sea green.  "If you ever need me, for anything at all.  I'm here."  He nodded wordlessly and his smile was thanks enough.  As she closed the door behind him, she touched her fingertips to her lips again, where she could still feel his cheek. It wasn't anything improper; wasn't anything at all really.  Except that it was Merlin.  Finally letting her in, just a little bit.  Even if it meant a start, that he would look at her as someone other than an aloof princess, as someone who could be there for him in this horrible time.  She didn't expect anything from him right now; just to let him know that she was there for him.  And she knew it would mean a lot to Merlin.    

Morgana smiled gently as the sun began to rise, unaware that leaning against the pulpits, Merlin was smiling into the same dawn.  Grateful, and accepting.

 


End file.
